Current Annoyances

[Dalty]

Just as well or the Deceptions would be all over this shit.

[Mal Shot First]

Current Annoyance:

The question "Are you excited?" I can't fucking hear this question anymore. People seem to get excited about the smallest goddamn thing these days. "I'm so excited: I finally get to have my coffee!" "I'm super-excited about my new boots!" You wanna be excited about that shit, that's fine with me, but what am I expected to answer in response to the question "Are you excited?" Does it really matter to the enquirer whether I'm actually excited about something? I realize that people make small-talk and don't necessarily care about the sincerity of my response, but even in terms of small-talk it's also a dead-end question if they expect me to answer in the affirmative. "Yeah, I'm pretty excited about it." What? Do you want me to elaborate on why I'm excited? That's not what you asked, motherfucker!

What's worse is that you look like some kind of asshole if you respond in a more measured tone and say that you're not necessarily excited about whatever it is that you were asked about. Then you have to explain that "excitement" is kind of a strong emotion and that you don't get excited about things all that easily, or that you're more curious, or perhaps even nervous, about an event than you are excited about it. Maybe you're just glad that something is happening without having to go into hyperbolic expressions of enthusiasm about it.

Anyway, I usually respond with "Yeah, I'm pretty excited" and try to put enough enthusiasm behind the statement in order to make it halfway believable. Afterwards, I usually walk away hating myself for it.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

This reminds me of Louis C.K.'s "Hilarious" bit.

In the future, you should respond to "Are you excited?" the way Bunny Breckinridge responds to the pastor in Ed Wood:

[Mal Shot First]

Yeah, it is kind of like the Louis C.K. bit.

This annoyance has been building up over time and finally came to a boil yesterday. My wife defended her dissertation and her colleagues threw her a party in a lounge on campus. A number of her friends and co-workers attended the event, and this woman I barely know comes up to me at one point and asks me: "Are you excited?" That was it - she didn't even specify what it was that I was supposed to be excited about. Most likely, she was asking whether I was excited that my wife successfully defended her dissertation. After a short pause in which I expected her to elaborate on her question, I finally said: "I'm probably not as excited as she is right now, since it's her big day, after all. I'm happy for her, though - she certainly worked hard to get here." The woman looked at me with an expression that I couldn't quite interpret, but it seemed like she was disappointed in me as a husband or maybe even as a human being. She seemed like, for whatever reason, she had no response to what I had just said. I didn't think that what I said was so horrible.

Fortunately for the both of us, there was a third person standing nearby and the woman then turned her attention away from me and the awkwardness that had set in.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

If you're disappointing people by not showing appropriate levels of excitement, I hate to think how disappointing I've been to people in the past.

Well, I guess it has led to some breakups.

[neglet]

Current Annoyance:
"I'm super-excited about my new boots!" You wanna be excited about that shit, that's fine with me.

You're obviously not a woman. I know it's a cliche, but I get excited when I get shoes/boots, usually because it's taken me three weeks to find a pair I like that's actually available in my size.

Of course, I can't help thinking of Jakester's obvious response to the question of whether you're excited....

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

When I go shopping for a pair of shoes, I go with the understanding that the shoes I'm picking out will be destroyed in a few months' time.

[Jubbers]

Shoes I'm mostly indifferent towards, though I do tend to stick with boy shoes, just so that I don't have to deal with heels or exposed toes or general discomfort. Anytime I go shopping for other sorts of clothing, however, I get extremely angry and usually spend hours bitching to Goiter about how I wish I was a man, or at the very least more androgynous. Fucking tits. Fucking clothes.

Death-glares and imagined brutal, bloody beatings to anyone stupid enough to say "Are you excited?" to me while clothes-shopping .

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Shopping for clothes is always a shame-filled experience for me.

[Dalty]

I find many things exciting. Shoes....... not so much. I am with Mal on this one. "I like coffee therefore I am somewhat pleased my coffee is arriving, however since I am in a coffee shop and I ordered my coffee it would be an over reaction to say its arrival is exciting" would be more correct.

[neglet]

Stupid Cricket commercials on stupid Hulu, made even more annoying by stupid breaks in my stupid ATT Internet "service."

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Man, some of those commercials Hulu pushes can be hard to watch. They don't always start out being annoying. Once you've seen the same commercial six times in the space of an hour, though, it can begin to wear on you.

[neglet]

Plus there's only so many times you can make the joke "Masturbate?" when the cricket guy asks what you want to do more of this year before it gets tired.

[neglet]

And by that joke, I'm answering for the dude in the commercial. Someone who spends a lot of time talking to a cricket salesman probably spends a lot of time alone.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

You don't have to spend a lot of time alone to want to masturbate more. I'd be pretty sad if I didn't beat last year's record.

[Quasar]

Which is?

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

I can count all the times I did it on one hand.

The left hand, specifically.

Because I'm a lefty.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

I've been seeing this on Facebook a lot:



The most recent friend to share it shared it from prison. He's been in prison since 2011. Aggravated assault.

[Quasar]

Respect!

[Dalty]

I presume you guys aren't talking about the noble sport of cricket here?

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Current Annoyance

"You win the Internet."

Man, am I seeing this comment way more than I want to. It makes me seriously consider becoming an hero.

[Dalty]

What do we win if we win "The Internet" ?

[Dalty]

[Dalty]

[Adam54]

The word "tot" annoys the bejesus out of me. Not when used behind the word "tator" but when used in reference to, say, a two year old child. For example, I just read a headline on CNN's website which reads "Dangling tot falls from 3rd floor."

Has anyone, ANYONE other than CNN used the word "tot" to refer to a small child in the last sixty years? I'm still pissed at that fucking psychopath Nancy Grace's desperate efforts to brand Casey Anthony as "Tot Mom."