Current Annoyances

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

"Tater Tot" doesn't annoy me, but "Tot" on its own annoys me. This goes for it when used to describe either babies or potato products.

Whenever I see it in print, my first instinct is to pronounce it the German way.

[Mal Shot First]

I'm still pissed at that fucking psychopath Nancy Grace's desperate efforts to brand Casey Anthony as "Tot Mom."

I remember we had a discussion about this on Corona. The nickname still doesn't make sense to me.

1. It makes her sound like she's a two-year-old who is also a mother.
2. It doesn't do anything to distinguish Casey Anthony from any other woman who has (or had) a young child. Why isn't any other mother of a two-year-old referred to as a "tot mom?"

Man, fuck Nancy Grace.

[Mal Shot First]

Man, fuck Nancy Grace.

Man-fuck Nancy, Grace!

(In before Goiter.)

[Dalty]

You are right. Seems to only ever been used in news stories, who seem to steer clear of my chosen words for the same thing, "Little Bastard".

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

(In before Goiter.)

That's what she said.

Wait.

[Adam54]

I'm still pissed at that fucking psychopath Nancy Grace's desperate efforts to brand Casey Anthony as "Tot Mom."

I remember we had a discussion about this on Corona. The nickname still doesn't make sense to me.

1. It makes her sound like she's a two-year-old who is also a mother.
2. It doesn't do anything to distinguish Casey Anthony from any other woman who has (or had) a young child. Why isn't any other mother of a two-year-old referred to as a "tot mom?"

Man, fuck Nancy Grace.

Y'know, as I was typing that complaint out before, I had a distinct sense of deja vu. That must be why. It's amazing just how much that "Tot Mom" bullshit annoys me when I think of it...what...three years later? Two years later? Not that I think about it every day of every week, mind you, but when it pops into my mind I get angry all over again.

Fuck that fuckity fucking fuck face Nancy Grace. Harrumph.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Dem Vater grauset’s; er reitet geschwind,
Er hält in Armen das ächzende Kind,
Erreicht den Hof mit Mühe und Not;
In seinen Armen das Kind war tot.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Tots magots.

[Mal Shot First]

Tots adorbs.

[Dalty]

Whisky comes in tots.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

You'd think there would be no coming. You'd think Whisky would have whisky dick.

[Dalty]

What is Scottish and comes in tots?

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Pat McEwan claims to know the answer to this.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

I know this thread is for "Current Annoyances," but I'm going to use it to return to an old annoyance. I am currently annoyed by this old annoyance, so I guess it still works. The old and current annoyance is Jeff Dunham.

Earlier today, I was watching this clip from You Can't Cheat an Honest Man:



I've always enjoyed it when Bergen pulls out Mortimer Snerd. Some of the jokes are easy, but there's always a warmth to their exchange, and it doesn't always rely on an unbroken cycle of setup/punchline. Mortimer's so dumb and gentle you almost feel protective of him.

Anyway, I made the mistake of reading some of the video's comments. I saw stuff like "motimer has to be bubba js brother !!" and "It's Bubba J! Holy SHIT!" and "Maybe that's Bubba J's Mom's great great great grandfather!" and "BUBBA J !!!!!!!!!!!!" and "Bubba J's grandpa, lol" and "Sound lik bubba j" and "OH MY GOD!!! BUBBA J!!!!"

If you're unfamiliar with Bubba J, he's another one of Jeff Dunham's creations. Here's a video featuring Bubba J:



Man. Bergen goes for some easy jokes, sure, but Dunham goes for the easiest ones imaginable. They're pretty much the most obvious jokes you could possibly make. Dunham doesn't really even need the punchlines. A ten-year-old should be able to anticipate them. Sheesh. It's pretty astounding to me that Dunham actually manages to get laughs from his audience. I guess his audience and I just have really different tastes.

Despite the one YouTube user's claim that Mortimer Snerd "Sound lik bubba j," their voices are pretty different. They look a lot alike (I'm sure Dunham did this as an homage to Bergen), but they don't sound too much alike. Snerd's voice is a riff on the generic voice all simpletons were given back in the day. It's more or less the same back-of-the-throat voice used by Goofy and the Looney Tunes version of the Abominable Snowman. (Their Abominable Snowman was supposed to be a spoof on Lon Chaney Jr.'s performance in Of Mice and Men. Chaney goes full 'tard. I had always thought that Stan Freberg did the voice, since it sounds a good bit like Freberg's Pete Puma, but it appears to have been Mel Blanc. Also, it turns out Stan Freberg's Pete Puma is patterned after Frank Fontaine's Crazy Guggenheim character.) It also sounds a bit like [url-http://youtu.be/K7YuZTmGqfk?t=15s]the earliest voice[/url] Caroll Spinney used for Big Bird.

Bubba J just sounds like an even dumber version of Larry the Cable Guy.

All the Bubba J comments on the Mortimer Snerd video are pretty annoying, but the most annoying one is probably this one (made by YouTube user Careiz14):

"At least i knew Mortimer before i knew bubba j."

You knew this one thing before you knew this other thing? Good going, I guess. I hope it fills your life with happiness.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Current Annoyance
I've been seeing people saying "Prayers going up!" a lot. It's annoying as fuck. I'm not annoyed that people are praying. That's fine. If a person wishes to pray, let that person pray. It's the phrase itself that annoys me.

"They just took my stepmother away in an ambulance. She was short of breath. Could be nothing. Please pray for her."
"PRAYERS GOING UP!"

Ugh. When I read it, I imagine a line cook pushing a plate full of prayer through the order window and shouting "Order up!" to the nearest server. (Note: I'm not actually sure who says "Order up!" in a restaurant. I once worked in a restaurant, but nobody who worked there ever said "Order up!" Also, maybe it's not said to the nearest server. Also, maybe the thing I called an order window isn't called an "order window." Feel free to correct me, and feel free to feel superior to me after you've corrected me. Feel free to feel superior to me even if you don't correct me. You smug fuckers.)

It's just so damned showy. "Hey, guys! Did you notice that I made prayers go up? The prayers were just lyin' around, and I said to 'em, I says, 'That won't do, prayers. You gotta go up.' And that's where they went. So if you were wondering where they went and who set them on that path, it was yours truly. I just wanted to make sure you knew. In case you were wondering. Because prayers don't just go up on their own. You're welcome."

I see some version of "Prayers going up!" at least twenty times a day. The majority of it is in my Facebook feed. Mostly, it's being said by rural Alabamans.

[Mal Shot First]

You could subvert it by responding "Prayers going down." It also sounds as if Prayer is the name of a wrestler, and another wrestler is announcing Prayer's upcoming defeat.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

And so I wake in the morning,
And I step outside,
And I take a deep breath and I get real high!
And I scream at the top of my lungs,
"WHAT'S GOING UP?"

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

Picket lines and picket signs!
Don't punish me with brutality!
Talk to me so you can see
WHAT'S GOING UP!

[Mal Shot First]

My breakfast.

[Mal Shot First]

I think the reason you associate it with something one would hear in a restaurant is that it sounds like "coming right up."
For example: "One double cheeseburger with a side of fries, coming right up!"

This makes it just as obnoxious because prayers end up seeming like some kind of commodity you can order. It trivializes them and almost gives them some kind of exchange value, which somehow goes against what prayers are supposed to be, in my opinion.

[The Swollen Goiter of God]

I was going for a commodification angle with the restaurant connection. I probably didn't make it as explicit as I could have.

Looks like a common response to "Prayers going up!" is "Blessings coming down!"

[Adam54]

I cannot figure out if a few claims for a Medicaid patient of ours are being denied because they're supposed to have an AT modifier attached to them. Generally, that's strictly something Medicare patients need, not Medicaid, but the only way to find out seems to be by calling the state.

I hate calling the state. The people who work there are....10% nice as can be, 90% horrible monsters.

I also hate that the patient gave us inaccurate insurance information in the first place, making me play detective to figure out that she actually had Medicaid in the second place, who then denied her claim for no apparent reason in the third place.

Annoying.

[Adam54]

I got a nice one! Phew!

However:

Current Annoyance

Hearing robot menus tell me to "Please listen as our menu options have changed" has become one of my biggest pet peeves. I call a lot of different places. I do not have the time or energy to memorize the correct series of digits to press on my phone in order to get through to a real person. STOP TELLING ME THAT THEY'VE CHANGED!

OR at VERY least, say "Menu options have changes as of March 25, 2014." That would grab my attention MUCH more than the vague "menu options have changed."

[Dalty]

Usually punching 0 repeatedly gets you to a human.

[Adam54]

But perhaps not if menu options have changed?